Because Some Things Aren't Funny

Ed Bradley died.
RIP 1941-2006

Pi à la Mode

"Ray Palmer, you've been served!"

Explain the connection(s) between or among these elements (post title, caption and panel).

Dial B for Bye Bye Bye

In honor of a great comics blog on it's final (??) day.

The REAL reason
Thanagar could never win.

So who's sucking up to whom?

(Hey, at least those pesky girls aren't trying to talk in the background!)

Gone With The "Wein"

You report, we deride!


As God is my witness, I'll never go stealing again!

Editor's Note: Really folks, I didn't change this panel!

Monday Morning Misogyny

The TRUTH behind how Supergirl
ended up in the 31^st century!

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water

From what I can tell, this may actually have been aired on the Cartoon Network Latin America!!

My apologies in advance to Scipio!

Part I

Part II

"No Soup For You!"

My first post that doesn't reference comics.

Paul & Frank: Not Gay

Mature Audience Only
This program is specifically designed to be viewed by adults
and therefore may be unsuitable for children under 17.
This program contains one or more of the following:
graphic violence (V), explicit sexual activity (S), or crude indecent language (L).

TRANSLATION: This isn't that bad, but some folks may not consider it work-safe.

Yeah, it's a lazy YouTube link and not comics-related, but hey, it's funny as hell!

The Legion of Substitute Posts

The much anticipated "Cos's Costume Cavalcade Part II" will be slightly delayed.

There a very good reason (more like a set of reasons) for the delay. First, I thought maybe I had missed a costume in my initial search, and then I dug through my old issues and found said costume, and then discovered I was missing quite a number of issues of the Legion Baxter run, and then I spent a couple of hours looking for said issues (which I still haven't found), and then I realized the jokes I wrote for Part II were even lamer than those in Part I, and then...

Anyway, you get the idea. "Cos's Costume Cavalcade Part II" will be coming soon!

So, I wanted to stick to my self-imposed "post once a day in my 1^st month" requirement, but I don't have a "reserve bank" of posts. Then I thought, "Who better to feature in a filler than the original Legion fillers, the Subs?"

So here they are...

Cos's Costume Cavalcade, Part IA Cosmic Boy Fashion Retrospective

Motivated by SallyP's giggles at Cosmic Boy's various fashions, TPCM has dug deep into Cos's closet to reveal the exhaustive history of his Legion attire. I will rely on Blockade Boy, the world's foremost authority in super-hero haute couture, to correct any of my missteps in describing these "lovely" garments.

(TPCM trivia: Haute couture is actually a legally protected term!)

Let's begin with Cos's 1^st costume from his premier appearance in Adventure #247, 1958.

Here we see Cosmic Boy wearing a smart ensemble, a pink top accented with black and lavender sans-a-belt pants.

Encyclopedia Galactica...Early in it's history, the Legion required members to be inoculated against the "Stupidity Virus" (first identified, Old Earth sector "District of Columbia", circa January 2001). Instead of protecting Legionnaire's from the Stupidity Virus, the vaccine caused active infection, resulting in the need for Legionnaires to wear costumes bearing their names and have placards describing their super-powers.

On the occasion of his 2^nd appearance, Cosmic Boy had already changed uniforms; however, in fairness, so had Lightning Lad & Saturn Girl. (Thank God!)

Cos's new attire featured a more varied pink and lavender color scheme with the addition of re-dyed shoulder fins stolen from Lightning Lad's old costume.

Cover shot is shown to illustrate the color scheme was intended, not a result of bad reproduction and to provide a gratuitous Cos butt shot.

The third Legion story (Action Comics #267) featured Supergirl and another costume change for Rokk. In addition to the three founding members, we saw Chameleon Boy, Colossal Boy and Invisible Kid. The effects of the "Stupidity Virus" infection were still in evidence: The Legionnaires think they are the children of the Legionnaires seen in the two previous stories and still need written cards to remind them what their powers are!

Cos thought either lavender was "too gay" or his last costume was just "too busy".
These togs showed off an all-pink look (which is certainly much "less gay" than lavender).

"Hey, Lightning Lad. You may want to queer it down a notch there!
The whole "hands-on-the-hips" thing works for Superman.
It makes you, however, look like a pretentious queen!"

It can be argued the above panels represent the "final" Cosmic Boy uniform for many years. But, the right panel clearly shows the bottom half of Rokk's costume colored all pink, not with the black go-go shorts associated with his "classic look". To put any questions to rest, let's take a look at the next unequivocal shot of Cos's garb from Adventure #293, 1962. (Besides it gives me an excuse to use a panel showing the Brain-Globes of Rambat.)

It only took 4 years and almost the same number of costumes,
but Cosmic Boy finally had the togs that would last for 14 years.

From The Rimborian Working Girl's Guide to Cooking...For comfort food that's easy to make and will be sure to please both you and those pesky tricks who demand to be fed, try a simple, but delicious, dish of eggs scrambled with Rambatian Brain-Globes and served with a side of hash browns. To begin...

Here ends the Silver Age versions of Cosmic Boy's attire. Next we'll venture boldly into the costumes from the Bronze Age and beyond!

Coming tomorrow from TPCM,
Cos's Costume Cavalcade, Part II.

TPCM Note: Panel placement edited to improve display at 800x600.

Exposition Gone Wild! Smallvillle Style

Is there ANY REASON to read the story?

5 + 2 = 7: 52 Week 26 in 7 panels

Bitty Broken Booster

Much Missed Martian


Waxing Wise Waverider

Mad Machination Misogyny

Slur Slinging Sivana
Raw Reptilian Romance

TPCM Note: Panel placement edited to improve display at 800x600.

TPCM Investigates:Of (Super) Human Bondage Redux

Can the Legion defeat a tyrant?
What is the secret of an enslaved planet?
Will Superboy remember his safeword!?!

Our TPCM investigative team wasn't satisfied with Superman's explanation of his behavior during the JLA's "Switcheroo Case", that his apparent fascination with being handcuffed was "all just a joke".

So we went forward to the past, 2976 specifically, and uncovered startling evidence of a young Superman's indoctrination into the world of B&D!

The TPCM staff can't decide which is more shocking:
Superboy's eagerness for discipline or Lightning Lad's knowing smirk.

You be the judge!

Coming soon from TPCM Investigates...
Green Lantern & Green Arrow:
What really happened in the back of that truck
during their "Search for America".
(Any resemblance to FVP023 is coincidental.)

Editor's Note: For a far less amusing version, i.e., the original, of the panel, click here.

A Halloween Fright, Legion-Style

The scariest thing you'll see on a comics blog
this Halloween or ever!

Not the Heart of Darkness totin' (already bat-sh*t crazy)
Jean Loring


Not the emo vampire,
Andrew Bennett of I, Vampire


Not even the Pre-COIE, possessed
Professor Lang!


No, ladies and gentleman,
I give you the most horrifying site
you will ever behold...



Steve Ditko's art on the Legion!!!
BE AFRAID!
BE VERY AFRAID!!

T&A PSA: Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Breast Cancer Resources

• National Cancer Institute


• American Cancer Society


• National Breast Cancer Foundation


• How to perform a breast self-exam (NBCF)

Yeah, I know Breast Cancer Awareness Month is almost over. But I realized today it was still BCAM and I do have a blog, so I should do a short public service announcement.

Above are four links that will provide good starting points if anyone wants to learn more about breast cancer.

To my male readers, men DO get breast cancer too! (It's relatively rare though.) Regardless, if you have a wife, a girlfriend, a sister or a mom, it wouldn't hurt you to learn a few basics about the disease.

To my female readers, you know the drill:

• Do monthly breast self-exams.


• Get an annual mammogram if you're 40 or older.


• If other women in your immediate family have had breast cancer (especially at a young age), talk to your doctor about what you can do to better monitor your breast health.

As you may know, there are genetic tests to detect inherited gene mutations associated with breast cancer. Typically, only women who come from "high-risk" families are recommended for these tests. Having one of these mutations does not mean a women will get breast cancer. If you consider or your doctor recommends taking such a test, please talk to a genetic counselor or other similar professional before taking the test. (Most doctors should suggest this, but some may not.)

Finally, if you ever have the chance to participate in a epidemiologic study of breast cancer (or any cancer) either as a case or a control (someone without the disease), please seriously consider it. Such studies are vital to cancer research efforts. Participating in a study, particularly if you have (or have recently had) breast cancer, probably doesn't sound like fun. But usual participation only involves a 1-2 hours long interview and sometimes a brief follow-up interview. That small sacrifice of time can make a big contribution to cancer research.

We will now resume with our regular programming. Thank you.

And What Does It Spell? LEGION!

I promised a bonus to the Legion "Gimme a..." series, and here it is. The cover from LSH #300 featuring the Legion as rendered by 34 different artists!

At the time of publication, the editor held a contest for readers to identify the penciller/inker team (or single artist) for each Legionnaire. I thought I'd post both the cover & artist list for any of you who are in desperate need for something else on which to waste your valuable time.

I'm not making this an "official" TPCM contest. ('Cause I've got bupkus for a prize, and more importantly, I'd hate to throw a party & have nobody come!)

But if you're so inclined, feel free to post your guesses for any or all characters in the comments section. I'll post the list of characters and artists (& the names of folks with correct answers, if anyone takes a stab at it) next Sunday.

Knock yourself out!

They Elected This Guy Mayor of Star City?

Ollie, did ya borrow that from Eros or
do you always carry golden arrows around?

Dorian at (postmodernbarney.com) was picking on Green Arrow earlier this week. So in my effort to prove I have absolutely no original contributions to the blogosphere and can only steal ideas from blogs far superior to my own, I thought I'd post these panels and take a shot at GA too!

In truth, after finishing my just-purchased Seven Soldiers trades, I wanted to re-read JLA #100-102, the first mention of the Nebula Man (albeit in flashback). When I happened upon these panels, I remembered Dorian's post and thought, "Why the hell not?" Hey folks, at least I'm stealing ideas from only the best blogs on the web!!

I understand these panels were needed to explain why nobody could deliver the Nebula Rod to The Hand That Holds The Earth without risk of death (and to set-up Red Tornado for the beginning of his never-ending death/resurrection cycle).

Fate's comment that Superman is venerable to magic holds water since the Nebula Man was at least partly magical in nature.

However, Green Arrow's point?

Take a look at the hand.

Do YOU see any damn golden wooden arrows poking out of that thing??

And I ask again, "Where the hell did GA get that arrow?"

Judge & Jury: SLSH #23

I was one of the unfortunate souls who faced the decision, "Do I pay $10 for the variant cover issue or do I wait until the one non-mentally impaired chimp who works for Diamond comes back from vacation and gets the regular issue shipped?" There was little debate: A month is long enough to wait for a new issue; a month and a week, simply intolerable! Plus the Adam Hughes cover is very nice!

The story:
The main story features Brainy, Cos, Saturn Girl and Light Lass taking Supergirl to Rokyn (home of now-enlarged Kandor) to disabuse her of the notion "it's all just a dream". Whilst there, Brainy has a pre-cog moment, and they encounter members of the re-imagined Legion of Super-Villains. The bad guys include Jeyra Entinn ("Saturn Queen", first seen in SLSH #19), a male who may be "Crystal Kid", a female who could be "Lamprey" (or perhaps a powered-up "Calorie Queen") and a male who I think is "Lazon", first seen in the League of Super-Assassins storyline. And we get a final splash-page appearance of Mon-El!

Cutaway moments include Element Lad and Triplicate Girl(s) doing a "robot rebellion" recon in the lower Metropolis. These scenes feature two Luornus finding Chlorophyll Kid, who's being set-up as a Legion "plant" by a mysterious shadowed figure (Tarik, the not-so Mute?) and one Luornu sharing a tender embrace with Element Lad. (I'm shamelessly stealing the Chlorophyll Kid "plant" thing from Matthew's review at Legion Abstract!)

The other side story shows Shadow Lass and Atom Girl on Talok VIII, with Shady and her now brother, Grev, slugging it out, a glimpse of Talokian culture & Shady's role as planetary protector and Vi suggesting Shady run for Legion leader.

My thoughts:

• Although I was pleased with Adam DeKraker's fill-ins, it was a real treat to have Barry Kitson back (love that man's art).



• The introduction of Rokyn puts yet another nail in the coffin of Byrne's 1986 Superman reboot. All we need now is Beppo, the Super-Monkey! Seriously, I'm glad Rokyn's been established as highly isolationist; it's not a great idea to have too many super-powered Kryptonians running around.



• Briany states explicitly, "Even in this day and age, we haven't yet perfected temporal travel." I guess that means we won't see time-hopping Legion tales any time soon, which suits me just fine. But it definitely implies folks in the 31^st century are working on it.



• The whole "we've gotta shanghai Kara to Krypton so she won't hurt anybody" thing left me grimacing a little. Sure she might go a little wonky if & when she gets over this "it's a dream" fantasy, but "Hello?", Brainy's got a big honking Green K chunk potent enough to put her on her *ss after a few seconds. Seems like enough to take care of a freaked out Supergirl if necessary.



• There are two instances where Brainy anticipates future events: one is arguably pre-cog, the other, unequivocally. What this means in terms of a future for Dream Girl, I don't know. (Matthew has an interesting take on this.)



• The Element Lad/Triplicate Girl embrace was cute, and maybe if Luornu's got a boyfriend, she'll have less time to be Cos's narc. (Though as we saw in #3, she could still snoop around for Cos and get jiggy with Jan all at the same time!) Let's just hope years from now in an effort to force a square peg into a round hole, Luornu's "secret origin" isn't updated to reveal she's really a guy who's so internally homophobic that he took a drug to turn into a girl so she could have sex with boys!



• The thought of Shady being leader is interesting given her head-strong, "punch first", hedonistic nature. Shady was never leader in the classic Legion, and I don't think she was in the post-Zero Hero one either.



• Please let it be "Mon-El"! Not "Lar Gand", not "Valor", but Mon-frakking El! Come on this is New Earth; while we're retconning things, is it too much to ask to have a young Clark Kent encounter Mon, think he's his brother and put him in the Zone!?! The cover of ACTION COMICS ANNUAL #10 has really got me hoping this wish is going to come true.

Overall:

• Another solid issue from WnK. The story should please both the "not enough action" crowd and "let's wrap-up the Supergirl arc" folks. I can't wait for the next issue!

Gimme a "N" orNura! Nura! Nura! Nura!

I told you not to f*ck with Dreamy!

The Legion of Superheroes #288, "The Legionnaire's Made For Burning"

Since I started the "Gimme a" series with Dreamy flirting, it seems only fitting I should end it with Nura really showing off her stuff. These panels from LSH #288 mark the beginning of Levitz's evolution of Dream Girl that would continue through his 80s run.

Dream Girl, Shadow Lass, Mon-el and Ultra Boy have gone to Orando, Princess Projectra's home world, to save Jeckie and Karate Kid from being executed by Jeckie's grandmother, Hagga, in her play for Orando's throne. (Gee, I thought my family had issues!)

With two of the most powerful Legionnaires on hand, who saves the day? Nura, of course!!

I love this scene because in addition to being a fantastic Dream Girl moment, it illustrates why the Legion works so well as a team book: It truly is all about the teamwork. Nura frees herself, using her willpower alone and pretends she's a witch who can block out the sun. Shady uses her power to further the ruse. Nura whacks the bejesus out of Hagga, causing her spells to dissipate, and the freed Legionnaire's kick some bad guy *ss! Great Legion teamwork!

With that, the "Gimme a" series ends. (I wasn't going for "Legion of Super-Heroes"; that would take almost a month of posts to do!) There will be a "bonus" installment tomorrow, but the series proper is over.

I hope longtime Legion fans have enjoyed this and people who've never read the Legion are tempted to try out the current series. It's well worth the read!

Apology and Question:What to kill first? Blogger Beta or IE !?!

I sincerely apologize to everyone using Internet Explorer who has visited TPCM since Sunday, October 22^th.

It turns out of a couple my posts this week had ending "span" statements that were NOT terminated properly. Blogger Beta gave no warning and readily accepted my publishing the posts.

In Firefox 1.5 (my default browser), these unclosed statements didn't cause any problems; however, in Internet Explorer 6.0, they caused style changes in preceding posts and in my sidebar!! The style changes basically rendered everything unreadable.

I discovered this problem in IE a few minutes ago, and I think I've fixed everything.

If you have encountered this problem, I am very sorry and I implore you, please don't give up on TPCM!!

I will do my best to try and avoid such problems in the future (or at least try to make sure I don't let 5 days pass before I realize them)!

Thanks.

QL (who is so incredibly vexed right now!!!)

TPCM NOTE: Edited to change "who" to "what" in post title. Vexation makes QL's grammar suffer!

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall...

Earlier this week, I had NPR's All Things Considered playing in the background. I was focused on my work, not really listening to the radio.

Until... I think I hear the words "reflecto porn".

It's amazing how rapidly the human brain can respond. Immediately my blogging-addled, randomly-firing neurons generated this:

Reflecto Porn
Noun
The explicit depiction of sexual subject matter, involving Superboy's body, inhabited by the amnesic consciousness of Ultra Boy and disguised as a red-headed third entity. May or may not include simulated snuff imagery.
Usage: Luornu was disturbed, yet somewhat aroused, after she inadvertently found Chuck's large collection of Reflecto porn.

The Legion of Superheroes #282 & #279, respectively

After "googling" the term, I discovered the truth of reflectoporn is far more horrifying than even my twisted mind could have envisioned!

Editor's Note: Turns out the NPR piece was an interview with Paul Dikson, the author of Slang: The Topical Dictionary of Americanisms.