B/CAW Part VII or And The Coin Toss Winner Is...

When planning for the final day of Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week, I was torn.

The previous 6 days had featured 3 cheese and 4 beef cakes; 4 Legion and 3 Lantern pics.

In a sense of universal balance, should have a female Lantern-related pic? On the other hand, since this is TPCM and I love the beefcake, should I have a male Legion-related pic?

So there was the coin toss.^*

And the winner is....
Phantom Lad

What Phantom Lad would have asked if Rokk hadn't interrupted him:
"We challenge you to
tell us why the hell I'm wearing this ridiculous costume!!"

Superboy (staring The Legion of Super-Heroes) #212, "Last Fight For A Legionnaire"

What's up with that costume? There's not enough of it to even be a wrestling singlet; it's more like a Speedo with straps! Still you can't complain, Grell knew how to drawn a man's body.

And because it's the final day of Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week, not only do you get a Legion reject beekcake panel, but a TPCM-enhanced one to boot!!

Here ladies and gentleman, we have the secret origin of Cosmic Boy's Grell-era costume! He was so taken with the way Phantom Lad's costume looked, he decided that he must too have a costume that exposed as much skin as possible.

You think I jest: pull out Issue #215, a mere three issues later, and what do we have? The debut of Cosmic Boy's new costume!!

Tell your friends, you saw it here first on TPCM!

Finally, my special thanks to Kalinara & Ragnell for sponsoring Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week!! I had lots 'o fun with it!

^*Editor's Note: Do you really think there was actually a coin toss?
And I'm not posting the unaltered panel because there were no other changes than the addition of Cos' thought balloon.
TPCM NOTE: Edited to include a shot of Cos's new costume from #215.

CAW Part VI or Naughty Guardians Need Love Too!

Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week nears an end...

Since all my previous entries have been from either Green Lantern or The Legion, why not continue the trend?

So TPCM proudly presents....

Lianna, Guardian of the Bustier!

Is there enough material on her to even count as a bustier?

Green Lantern #160, "Offspring"

Instead of my usual ramblings, I've coaxed a very special guest, Mr. Johnny DC, out of retirement for an important public service announcement.

Johnny, thanks for helping out today.

"I'm always glad to help QL. It's swell to be here and you're a swell fellow.

Boys and girls, I want to talk to you about good clean living. Living an upstanding life is important not just because it's the moral thing to do, but also it's good for you.

Take Lianna up there. Years of long nights filled with drinking, smoking and recreational drugs led from a body like that to this:

Remember boys and girls, 'healthy living' or this could happen to you !"

Great job Johnny. And next time here at TPCM... "Hey, where the hell is my money!?! I wanna see a Franklin right now ! And where're the women and the booze? You said there'd be women here, you damn queermo. Who wrote that sh*t anyway? 'Healthy living' my ass!! I've read better copy written by Bates when he was tripping! Let me tell you... " Well readers, I should go and make sure Johnny gets his promised "honorarium" for the visit. And who knows, if I can scrounge up another hundred bucks, a fifth of Jack and a copy of "Debbie Does Dallas", maybe I can convince Johnny DC to stop by again.

Til next time,
QL

Editor's Note: The photo of the female Guardian was taken from Green Lantern #4.

B/CAW Part V or The Legion's 2 for 1 Coma-ploitation

It's Friday AND Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week here at TPCM, so that means...

Twice The Legionnaires, Twice The Comas,
Twice The Exploitation !!

Superboy and The Legion of Super-Heroes #233, "The Final Illusion"
AND
The Legion of Super-Heroes #293, "Within The Darkness..."

Really I didn't intend to copy Kalinara. She has a giant, I have a giant; she has an unconscious women, I have an unconscious women. It's all coincidence I swear!

Today's first panel* features Mike Nasser's beautifully drawn Projectra from the backup in SLSH #233, on the surface, not a bad story, BUT the implication regarding Projectra is pretty bad. At this point in history, Projectra was basically a two-note character: rich princess and Karate Kid's girlfriend. So what should you do to expand her character? Create a story where she's in a coma because she misses her boyfriend so much she can't bear to face reality and turns her power of illusion inward to create a "perfect world". Way to go guys!! (And what's worse, Paul Levitz wrote it. He made up for it in the '80s though.) That said, it's still a good story and has great art.

The second panel is from the Great Darkness Saga after Mon-El's been "coma-tized" by Darkseid. What's interesting about the panel is it's one of the few times (if only?) we see Mon-El with body hair. If memory serves, almost every bare-chested Mon shot showed him with a smooth torso. So gentle readers, we may have here evidence that Mon-EL is a shaver. Obviously between the time spent fighting the Servants of Darkness and the time in the coma, his chest hair grew back. Mon-EL dude, you’re not a porn star; you don’t have to shave your chest. Embrace your furriness!!


*Editor's Note: Panel was edited to remove pesky partial word ballons.

BAW Part IV or No-name: My Big Gay Brother

In an effort to stop posting my Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week contributions so late in the day...

"Pardon me sir, but you want that in WHAT size?
XXXXXXL?"

Legion of Super-Heroes #14

No, this is not MY big gay brother; it's the current Legion Colossal Boy's. I call him "No-name" because I don't think we know his name yet. Just for those who don't read the current Legion, Colossal Boy comes from a race of giants, created by Bizzaro Brainiac no less (who says zaniness ended in the Silver Age?).

What's interesting about the context is that Shrinking Violet knocks the poor guy out in the next panel!! We're told on the following page, the microscopic Imskian civilization worships Brainiac 5 for some reason.

Based on her reaction to No-Name, I'll bet Violet's backstory has something to do with Brainy rescuing her people from enslavement by... wait for it... a GIANT (which could be any normal-sized person considering the perspective).

CAW Part III or Nura Nal: She's My Gal!

Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week continues...

No joke here.
I can't bring myself to be a smart*ss when it comes to Dream Girl.
It would be sacrilege!

The Legion of Super-Heroes #290, "And The Servant Shall Be A Sign"
"The Great Darkness Saga"

When Dream Girl was first introduced (Adventure Comics #317, "The Menace of Dream Girl"), she had great character potential. She charmed the boys, pissed off the girls and then turned into a total shrew, having everyone on the team removed from active duty. Of course, it was all an act to protect the Legionnaires from a fiery death she had foreseen. It didn't work out so well for Dreamy though: turns out the dream was slightly off and she resigned out of nobility. Nura's character potential pretty much lay fallow after that story.

That was until Levitz's 1980s Legion run. Nura FINALLY got the character development that turned her into one of the most complex, well-written characters ever to be a Legionnaire. The above panel is from one of her greatest moments, when she annouces she's running for Legion leader.

The best part about Dreamy's development was although she became a strong leader and excellent tactician, she still played the "pouty-lipped vamp". She was so comfortable with who she was and what she could do that she really didn't give a damn what anybody else thought!

That's why I love Dream Girl!!

And in an homage to Scipio at The Absorbascon, here's a Dream Girl haiku:

Nura Nal, Dream Girl.
A smart, steady leader, but
don't fuck with her hair!

TPCM NOTE: Edited to correct repetition of the work "week" in the first line. And to correct the misspelling of "The Aborbascon" (if you're doing an homage, at least spell the guy's site correctly! Sorry Scipio!!!). Obviously QL needs to start proofing his posts!!

BAW Part II or Kyle Rayner: The Power of Tighty-Whities

As part of Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week.

InterSector Memorandum

TO: Hal Jordan, Green Lantern - Sector 2814

From: Kyle Rayner, ION - Any damn where I wanna be

Subject: Your much ballyhooed butt

Date: 10/17/2006

CC: H.E.A.T.

It has come to my attention that everybody thinks your butt’s soooo hot.

In response to this matter, check me out: ripped bod, perfectly clipped body hair and amply-filled briefs.

In summary, bite me!

Green Lantern #144, "The Battle of Fire and Light"
"The Power of Ion" arc

And speaking of Hal's butt, for an array of Green Lantern butts, check out this post at SallyP's Green Lantern's Butt FOREVER!.

TPCM NOTE: Edited to correct an oversight.

Beefcake Appreciation Week or How Mike Grell Made Me Gay

Since Kalinara & Ragnell have declared this week, Beefcake/Cheesecake Appreciation Week and I was planning on using this panel at some point, here's my contribution.

Damn you Mike Grell!
If a young impressionable QL hadn't seen this panel,
how different the world might have been!!

Green Lantern #91, "The Revenge of the Renegade!"

Honestly, I'm not sure what's more titillating: the "if Grell had drawn 2mm downward" this wouldn't have gotten Comics Code approval or Ollie's "grab me by the arms and ravish me" pose.